Thursday, August 23, 2007

Invasion of the crocs!

I started hearing about them sometime last year. When I saw the pics, I thought “Why would anyone want to wear those atrocities!!”

They rekindled memories of the sweaty-feet-squishing-around-in-probably-melting-plastic from my childhood encounters with the sandaks.

And although sandaks are now thought of fondly with the kind of bumbling nostalgia which occurs as time dulls painful memories of blisters and slippery, squelchy walking, I must say I hated them even back then.

Now to see them back masquerading as some sort of comfortable, hip footwear – I'm appalled!!

I present to you – The Crocs!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I read The Manolo religiously. Because I have a sort of consuming obsession with the beautiful shoes. (And the love/desperate envy for his fantastic wit and writing).

I love shoes! And although I cannot claim to have never bought the slightly odd (or downright ugly) pair of shoes, I must say the croc is the ugliest shoe I have ever seen and I don’t know why anyone would wear it, let alone buy it.

Although perhaps the people of the younger persuasion, here referring to the children! below the age of 8! could get away with it.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Although I myself would be hesitant to stick the lovely and delicate feet of the young MS-K-lings into these vehicles of flesh-distorting torture!

I must admit, I read the debate about the crocs with some kind of bemused detachment – after all, the filthy things, they were not available in the Kenya.

The only person I had seen wearing them was the Karen Cowgirl who had bought them on the vacation to Canada, and could be forgiven for her misguided purchase. Perhaps it was the lapse in judgment caused by the jet lag or too much sun exposure?

I listened in horror as the popular excuse for the travesty of wearing them came out of her mouth – “but they’re so comfortable”.

“But they’re so UGLY!” I said, shaking my head.

As I walked away I thought, “Thank God they haven’t discovered Africa”.

But blast the globalization! They have discovered the virgin un-croc'd Africa!

I walked past the Bata shop and my heart plummeted to the depths when I saw them – the Crocs in the window display! Here, in Nairobi.

Within reach of the millions. Soon they shall over run our streets and millions of otherwise intelligent beings shall be sucked into the vortex of plastic hideousness!

And they even have the fur-lined crocs, and the boot crocs and oh, I shudder!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I am with the Manolo and the Vincenzo and Kate at I hate Crocs so much, I bought the domain. The crocs, they MUST be destroyed. We must rally the troops and vanquish these agents of bad judgment, appalling fashion and just plain hideousness!! The enemies of taste and style and all things good!!

I proudly declare, I am a CROC-BLOCKER!

Resist the crocs my fellow Kenyans! They will melt in the tropical heat and your feet shall forever be stuck in the ugly shoes when the molten rubber adheres stubbornly to the flesh.

The excuse that they are cheap is cleverly formulated capitalist propaganda. Do not fall for their tricks.

The crocs they are hideous and they are plastic and we all know the good fairly-priced (sometimes very cheap) shoes can be found at second-hand (flea) markets around the country. Try the Toi at the Adams, or the Ngara, or the Mutinda.

And the bad cheap, they are terribly expensive. They give you the bunions and the fallen arches and the bad back and the aforementioned melted feet!

WHY would you want to wear the crocs when the beautiful shoes abound?

For the men the Gucci loafers:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And for the fairest sex.... oh where do I begin...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And you know, if he wears them, you probably don't want to be seen in them!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Besides, the crocs, they are dangerous.

Credits
The writing style shamelessly copied from The Manolo!
All pics, the Manolo

For more of the fugly shoes you must never be caught in, visit the Gallery of the Horrors

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

22 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm a huge fan of Manolo as well. The crocs they definitely must be destroyed :)

Prousette said...

Now I know what they are called; crocs lol unbelievably ugly.

Nakeel said...

Wont mind manolos but sincerely Crocos must die please not in Africa.

kipepeo said...

I absolutely HATE crocs with a passion!! Injustice to feet. by the time I left Sweden at the beginning of summer, everyone had them on and shock upon horror...with socks!!! HOW NOW? vomit inducing!! grrr

bankelele said...

My Boss, who's about to retire (50-smoething), is wearing crocs (G.Bush edition) on casual Friday.

AfroFeminista said...

Oh yuck! these things (for they cannot be labelled shoes) are an eyesore! Actually i think i saw a guy wearing a pair last evening....there's a version of them (probably early model) that's also particularly popular with men in Dubai, which they wear with their white robes. . .weird!

And yes if nothing else, why would anyone want to dress like the Bushman?

Anonymous said...

Those crocks are definitely some of the ugliest shoes. But me not being a shoe fan either

Prettylyf said...

LOL this tickled me still I'll invest in crocs for my psych rotation lol
I definitely think you should check out this facebook group dedicated to crocs 'haters' it's called 'I don't care how comfortable crocs are, you look like a dumbass' lol

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2204667614

Anonymous said...

Heh! Ms K yaan1 th1s 1s what the med1a term as 'A roar1ng rampage' aga1nst crocs.
Bel1eve me 1 love shoes, and th1s 1s most probably the hardest th1ng to adm1t:
I th1nk crocs are cool (duck1ng in shame) 1 swear those shoes look comfy, and since you saw them in Na1, 1'm go1ng to get me a pa1r.
Don't hate me, Ms K - love's bl1nd Lol

Anonymous said...

but like for real girl, me I rock a pair of them croco-dilos. Comfort lakini ingalau they help me run for the subway :)

Anonymous said...

ugly is a relative concept, its totally constructed by culture, so we have revolution with crocs and all you conservative types can't cope.. crocs are an important shoe because they are nearest thing to walking on bare feet and they will give you inner peace. being yogi I am most aware that your feet need to be freed for you to function at optimum mental capacity you need crocs and also need to stop worrying about ugly because take anything that is ugly can also be beautiful simple dialectics people

Anonymous said...

I started hearing about them sometime last year. When I saw the pics, I thought “Why would anyone want to wear those atrocities!!”

They rekindled memories of the sweaty-feet-squishing-around-in-probably-melting-plastic

Anonymous said...

小吃餐車加盟連鎖「一條龍的創業模式」複製成功開店經驗
更新日期:2009/08/25 17:19

(中央社訊息服務20090825 16:19:17)大環境不景氣,工作難找,有不少人就想乾脆自己創業當老闆。為強化國內創業能量,五路財神開店總部於8月20日-9月20日舉辦「2009夢幻小餐車創業成果展」歡迎蒞臨參觀。針對國內一窩蜂創業加盟潮,餐車達人陳滌五總監提醒創業者,加盟不失為一條創業捷徑,但若選擇加盟,品牌知名度、產品獨特性及是否擁有差異化優勢就顯得格外重要。
近年來以成本低的小吃餐車最受創業者青睞。沒經驗的失業族 大部份都選擇餐車擺攤,最多人都想在創業市場闖出一片天。在台中成立的五路財神開店總部,小吃餐車用品牌方式來營運,總經理陳滌五用自己的經驗來現身說法。以國人創業首選的小吃餐車來說,如何在同質性高的市場中殺出重圍?雖然是路邊攤小餐車,營運上的重要撇步是關鍵;在企業經營戰略中,唯有領先核心競爭,保持差異化優勢才是生存之道。
陳總分享成功關鍵,「五路財神餐車與其他路邊攤最大的差異化,在於餐車外觀亮眼與眾不同的加分效果,及秉持結合好的小吃產品用品牌方式來經營的理念」。總部成立初期因觀察到傳統路邊攤想要爭得一席之地,大多考量商品創新的迷思,卻忽略創業者經營能否持久性的問題。所以五路財神餐車將傳統小吃商品,用創新工法為策略,顛覆傳統路邊攤的概念,長期下來在台灣建立起最多元品牌的餐車王國。
很多創業者最憂心沒經驗,業界首創從餐車打造、生財器具、原物料配方、技術教學、促銷廣告、開幕指導,「一條龍的創業輔導」模式,使得五路財神餐車品牌特色更為彰顯。陳總說,不景氣下小吃餐車經營是加倍艱辛,建議創業者不但要瞭解小吃經營的核心價值,凸顯產品獨特性及差異化之外還要定期和你商圈的客人互動,「好餐車、好商品、好客人」,三個好,如此才有可能成為「不敗的小吃攤」。
|加盟創業|滷味加盟|加盟|餐車|安親班|廚具||開店|新民管樂

Anonymous said...

That should have more deeper focus and I'll deal with them in separate blog articles: 3D printing, and mobile application.

Here is my weblog - foreigner.karl.or.kr

Anonymous said...

complimentary download vista vehicle driver.

Also visit my web blog ... http://bestdrycabinet.com/?main_page=wordpress&p=310

Anonymous said...

AWESOME! THANKS !!!

My page www.alvinashcraft.com

Anonymous said...

Many thanks whole lots. Works a treat.

my weblog xerox phaser 8560 maintenance kit

Anonymous said...

I have a grinding noise that is keeping me from publishing
everything from the Cyan toner. Could this be the same case?


Feel free to visit my web site ... http://www.publicvanlines.com/content/hp-clip-dispenser-paper-clamp-dispenser

Anonymous said...

Very valuable details, I have actually constantly liked laser printers
due to the fact that they are much less costly to make use of, once
you make the initial investment. Toner cartrages are a
lot more costly however outlive several several inkjet cartrages and
are much less untidy to utilize. You can set your laser
printer to print in grayscale and use less of the color toner, I only use shade when publishing images.



Feel free to visit my site - xerox phaser 8560 manual

Anonymous said...

Back in the olden days (meaning: 10 years ago) printservers would commonly have their own
set of records that would certainly be adjoined to every printjob,
basically improving the complexity of the job. That was occasionally adequate to make a gadget run out of memory.
I have no idea if it still makes much of a distinction nowadays.


My weblog :: xerox phaser 8560 error codes

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your info.
No problem installingl the vist64
motorist.

My blog - xerox phaser 8560 manual

Anonymous said...

hey there,
we are trying to publish some buisiness cards
with thermosensitive ink that would certainly react with the warmth.


My web site xerox phaser 8560 maintenance kit